A Continuation of the “욱 (ook)” Moment
We looked at that point of in our lives where we simply get too frustrated with things and take a stand, that “욱 (ook)” moment. If used properly it can be a useful tool to help with our lives. A timeout and pause to give us time to regroup and rethink things before moving forward or backing off. Unfortunately, for too many of us that timeout leads to a complete shutdown of the process. Instead of using it to reevaluate the situation we use it as an excuse to stop things where there are without ever returning it to it.
Our own stubbornness in certain situations can lead to a loss in opportunities that would normally benefit us whether it be in business or our personal lives. Especially in situations where emotions are running high we get tunnel vision on our own views without taking a step back to take a deep breath and see the big picture. We feel a victim that is being taken advantage of instead of understanding that there are other factors in play except for just us and our own feelings and thoughts.
Taking the time to see the big picture and the grand scope of things gives us an opportunity not only to see possible advantages and benefits in the future, but also gives us the chance to see possible pitfalls that we may not have noticed when our emotional blinders were in place.
In too many situations we simply refuse to swallow our pride and admit to a mistake or rash decision. Instead of apologizing or admitting our fault and fixing the situation we stubbornly continue with the wrong answer or viewpoint in order to “win”. We’ve all seen and experienced what it’s like to be with someone who refuses to admit their own faults and most of us have done the same, especially when our desire to “win” or be “right” overpowers our desire to actually be right. While we are caught up in the moment it’s difficult to admit defeat, but hopefully we can come back and rectify the situation.
Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love truth.”
― Joseph Joubert
Learning to Say or Show that I Screwed Up
I’ve had plenty of arguments with my father before where I knew I was morally right about a situation, but at the moment he refused to give into it to prove a point. Later on though he would make the decisions I had been arguing for. At the moment of contention he couldn’t admit his fault without it undermining his own sense of authority, but his own sense of what was morally right or wrong always won out in the end and because I learnt my morals from him we actually ended up making the same decision. Although during each and every argument we had I was emotionally heated and frustrated now that I look back on it I’m glad that my father never let his own stubbornness interfere with doing the “right” thing.
“All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride.”
I’ve been in relationships that fall apart mainly because one of us is too stubborn to admit that we made a mistake. One or both of us made a rash decision often by hitting that “욱 (ook)” moment and refused to back down from it regardless of the situation and how it or we had changed. Instead of admitting our own mistakes or misjudgment we continued down the road, over a cliff beyond the point of no return.
As I’ve grown up and tried to gain perspective on things I try harder and harder to avoid that “욱 (ook)” moment and if I happen to hit that moment I do try to back down to reevaluate things once my temper has eased off a bit. In many cases I do realize I was wrong and try to fix my mistakes. In other cases I still think that stopping at that point and building a wall was the right decision and I leave it at that with the idea of coming to reevaluate things if I feel the need to. Our lives our not static and everything is in a constant state of change and flux so I prefer to always be willing to revisit old decisions even if I still bear the scars of the last meeting.
“I would always rather be happy than dignified.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
In many cases if you do the same you’ll realize that the argument in the past that broke up a friendship really was meaningless or the scars you have with fights with family or loved ones are now healed and gone. In some cases you’ll have the opposite reaction and realize that the moment you took a stand was a good one and that the barriers that you placed should remain. In either situation though keep an open mind and don’t leave your past buried under scar tissue.
Originally posted 2017-01-06 17:30:28.