Is the Warranty Still Valid?

Dear God,

Yeah, I know I haven’t called in a while, but I didn’t want to bother you. I know that you’re busy with running the universe and all, hell getting ready for the apocalypse must be a full time job on it’s own (whoops sorry for the H-E- double hockey sticks there).

Well I’m calling to say that I just wanted to check if the warranty was still valid on my life. Like would it be possible to get a replacement. I don’t need a rush delivery or anything, Amazon usually does two day shipping, but even somethings can take 4-5 days so I’ve learned patience.

Is there a confirmation number I should jot down?

OK, so my life is still functioning, I guess that it’s not really broken and ready for the scrap heap, but there are some minor issues that have been coming up and I’m sure it should be under warranty.

For the basics there are definitely some cosmetic damage. Bumps and dents and a bit of rust here and there. I think it goes beyond mere wear and tear issues. Yeah, I could have taken better care of things, but this life was built to last wasn’t it?

Things also seem to be running a bit rough. Sometimes my life seems to go left when I want it to go right and it has stalled from time to time. There are even times when I seem to be going backwards instead of forwards.

Yeah, there were times when I was operating my life under the influence, but really it was only a couple of drinks…

So is the warranty still OK?

Originally posted 2017-01-30 20:24:35.


  1. Jo Foster
    January 30, 2017

    This musing genuinely made me laugh, and the thought of wanting a warranty at times is most definitely relatable.

    • PalHachi~
      January 30, 2017

      Thanks I appreciate it. Realized I’ve been too grumpy about things and wanted to approach things with a more light-hearted view.

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